Happy New Year! It’s already February and the groundhog has prophesied an early spring, but this year I think he’s wrong. He’s incorrect because of all the arctic air cascading over the mid-section of the country, but I still put a lot of faith in that pawed animal. I was having some difficulty figuring out if I should continue with a particular pursuit of mine or if I should abandon it for possibly greener pastures. I let it ride all on the national groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil. Both he and his Ohio counterpart, Buckeye Chuck, came to the conclusion that I should not waste six more weeks on this ineffable situation and just as spring abounds with newness and rejuvenation, so should I. I’m fairly content with my decision, or rather Phil’s, though it is disappointing.
My decision to rely on something as ridiculous as a groundhog came about because of a misalignment of ducks. I unwisely thought that all of my ducks were in a row, as it were, but in fact, they refused to line up as I wished for them. Each duck is its own circumstance, and apparently felt the need to exercise its own limited agency, though in some cases, weaving in and out of the line so much that I had no idea if it would remain in the linear progression I had established or if it would plot its own course, contrary to all prior arrangements. A few ducks remained in position, adhering to the configuration, but when it came to knocking them down, they would not, in fact, budge. One duck remained steadfast in its opposition to my overall plans, though perhaps not voluntarily.
I am realizing more and more that I must have control over almost everything, especially when it comes to certain circumstances in my life. And since I could no longer control these ducks and their seemingly arbitrary whims, I decided that the enterprise itself was no longer worth my time, energy and pursuit. It’s unfortunate that I had to rely on the oh-so capricious pundit of prognostication Punxsutawney Phil, but sometimes it takes an outside force to help one realize what has been bubbling at the surface for quite some time. In my case, it was my inevitable failure at an impossible undertaking.
This dissolution will truly only bring rise to a better set of circumstances for me, at least that is what I am trying to believe. And fear not, I am not referring to my dissertation.
4 comments:
Good reading for a Monday morning. Kind of a pick me up. Good reading, I say, but not the girl I know. The one I know makes decisions based on facts or desires, not four pawed creatures. Must not be a serious decision?!. Quite possibly the little creature is only a cover up for what you knew to be true already?
Kavi,
I find I must call to your attention the words of a much greater writer than I. This is necessary to pull you away from the violence I feel that you may very shortly perpetrate upon the innocent ducks and groundhogs. "She who is cruel to animals becomes hard also in her dealings with mankind. We can judge the heart of a woman by her treatment of animals" This, of course, was written by the great Immanuel Kant. And, you, Kavita, should be ashamed of yourself.
Flav
I think it was brilliant that you trusted your fate to such a reliable and natural resource. The stars seem to be in alignment on this one.
Where one door closes, another opens...who knows what shenanigans you'll be up to in 2007.
darling, your blog is delightful. those ducks! shoot them in the heart.
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